You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
