My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
