she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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