scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
