He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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