I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
did i walk over a car last night?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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