So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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