i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
