just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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