I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
