Got a toothbrush?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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