I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
