lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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