I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
