I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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