I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize