So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
