I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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