Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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