yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
