I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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