haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
