well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize