Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize