UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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