I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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