He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
no, he came in my armpit
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
