this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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