It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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