Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.