Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court

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  (816): His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court http://tfl.nu/ow7w
  Replies (4) Good night (659) Bad night (1259)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.

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  (603): I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed. http://tfl.nu/bqzz
  Replies (27) Good night (618) Bad night (4419)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.

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  (740): Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/hc6j
  Replies (17) Good night (2600) Bad night (1254)
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  (209): View more from California

  AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.

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  (209): AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now. http://tfl.nu/g0pf
  Replies (22) Good night (963) Bad night (3233)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them

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  (856): So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them http://tfl.nu/pyve
  Replies (31) Good night (3372) Bad night (494)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.

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  (618): I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask. http://tfl.nu/gfxs
  Replies (12) Good night (926) Bad night (2986)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.

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  (651): I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year. http://tfl.nu/vpjz
  Replies (3) Good night (1854) Bad night (682)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?

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  (301): do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit? http://tfl.nu/0117
  Replies (6) Good night (1160) Bad night (567)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew

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  (585): Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew http://tfl.nu/mfmq
  Replies (8) Good night (3652) Bad night (716)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.

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  (305): i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes. http://tfl.nu/n4c7
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (994)
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  (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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  (831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053
  Replies (10) Good night (1568) Bad night (641)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.

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  (978): I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest. (1-978): I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text. http://tfl.nu/56wf
  Replies (4) Good night (1674) Bad night (613)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.

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  (770): We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts. http://tfl.nu/3snk
  Replies (2) Good night (1477) Bad night (458)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...

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  (321): Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games... http://tfl.nu/gpo9
  Replies (6) Good night (758) Bad night (1523)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.

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  (708): I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on. http://tfl.nu/l3j9
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (290)

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