i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
