Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
