Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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