Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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