google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize