her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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