is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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