drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
