Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
