I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
