I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
