That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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