So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
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How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
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Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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