It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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