I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
