Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
