Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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