Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize