she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize