end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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