the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
