she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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