I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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