Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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