Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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