sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
