I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
