you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Floor bacon is actually really good
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
