Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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