Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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