You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
