ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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