those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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