We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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