4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
