i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize