I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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